Book: Clash of the Couples (Blue Lobster Book Company)
Co-author: Kathryn Leehane (Foxy Wine Pocket)
Describe your book in seven words or less?
Hilarious lovers’ spats over completely ridiculous shit
If you were given a chance to travel back in time, what year or place would you go and why?
I would go back to May 1986 at the Dartmouth Junior High School gymnasium. The last song of the evening, “Faithfully” by Journey, was playing over the worn-down speaker system. Joe Davidson and I stared at each other from across the room. I would travel back to the exact moment when Heather Barnes cut in front of me and asked Joe to dance that final song. Instead of watching myself turn away in tears, I would PUSH HEATHER OUT OF THE WAY and let my 12-year-old self dance the night away with Joe. Okay, I wouldn’t push her, but I would insist he dance with Younger Me instead. I’m certain it would change my entire life.
If you were a tree (or animal), what kind of tree (animal) would you be?
I would be a small dog like a Lhasa Apso or a Brussels Griffon. Someone would cater to my every need: feed me and groom me and lavish affection on me. I would take multiple naps every day, and I would sit in everyone’s lap, get petted constantly, and lick my privates—oblivious to the world around me.
If you were a Star Trek or Star Wars character, which one would it be?
I would be a random Jedi. A mom with Jedi powers in particular. I would do laundry and put toys away while drinking my coffee using my powers of levitation and telekinesis. I would ensure my children did their homework without complaint using Jedi mind tricks. And I would use the threat of Force Lightning to ensure my husband overlooked the credit card bills and gave me oral sex whenever I wanted.
If someone wrote a biography about you, what do you think the title should be – please explain?
“I’m Not Quite Sure What Happened Here”
Despite my traditional, Catholic, capitalist upbringing, I’ve dedicated my life to making people laugh inappropriately for little to no personal financial gain. In high school, I was voted “Most Likely to Change the World.” I’m assuming that by “Change the World, “ they meant “Overshare and Make People Spit Out Their Drink.”
If you were deserted on an island, who are 3 famous people you would want with you?
- Jason Bateman because he will always be my Sexiest Man Alive (and his dry wit drives me crazy—in the best possible way).
- Tina Fey because she’s smart, beautiful, funny, and has BFF potential.
- Alton Brown because he’s hilarious, a master chef, and can cook with random island resources like MacGyver.
What do you like to do when you’re not writing?
In no particular order: I eat bacon, drink wine, read books, take naps, crash high school reunions, and fawn all over Jason Bateman. These activities keep me pretty busy actually. It’s a good thing my kids are old enough to take care of themselves most of the time.
Variety is the spice of life or creature of habit?
I am absolutely a creature of habit. I would do the same things in the same exact order every single day of my life if it weren’t for my husband. He is much more spontaneous and “spicy” (winking not-at all-subtly) than I am. That is a BIG reason I married him. There are others BIG ones too. (Yeah, I’m winking awkwardly again.)
Do you like pushing the envelope?
My story in Clash of the Couples is pretty tame in comparison to some of my other writing, but I think the idea of couples arguing is fabulously taboo. And I absolutely adore pushing the envelope. I personally love to write about embarrassing moments or racy topics that you’d only tell your closest girlfriend. Because we’re all thinking them—so why not just put them out there?
Do you think it is best to call body parts by their anatomically correct names, or come up with euphemisms?
It depends on who is asking. If it’s my children, I use anatomically correct names. (Also, I love saying the words, PENIS and VAGINA. Loudly.) In my writing, I love euphemisms and strive to come up with as many ridiculous “synonyms” for body parts possible. I recently wrote a piece where I challenged myself to write at least ten different ways to say “vagina.” It was my opus magnum.
Missionary or on Top?
Depends on my mood. If I’m tired or lazy, I prefer Missionary. There’s nothing better than lying there and letting someone else do all of the work and still deriving so much pleasure. But if I’m feeling energetic, I prefer being on Top. There’s something soooo sexy about being in control of the pleasure and conducting the orchestra, if you will.
***Where can readers stalk…um…I mean, find you?
Clash of the Couples on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Clash-Couples-Collection-Completely-Relationship-ebook/dp/B00OYWM2CE/ref=zg_bs_156559011_3
Clash of the Couples web page: http://www.bluelobsterbookco.com/books/clash-of-the-couples/
Clash of the Couples Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ClashoftheCouples
Foxy Wine Pocket Blog: http://www.foxywinepocket.com/
Foxy Wine Pocket Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/foxywinepocket
Foxy Wine Pocket Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/foxywinepocket