dear olivia pope: i’mma need for you to let jake go…so we can make our own scandal.

perfectly reasonable request. you are doing nothing with him but stringing him along. you want fitz. i get it. keep him. see, this works out for me, because i have concluded that fitz….

now, this is going to make some people upset……

is kind of a bitch ass. and a hypocrite to boot.

shhhhhh. no, no.

hush now. *holds finger to mouth*

let me finish.

see….he whines when no one tells him the truth, which ok…i can get with that. honesty and all that other shit. it’s cool, right? nevermind that fitz killed chief justice verna and didn’t tell anyone. cuz that’s ok.

i mean, after all, livvy, you, ms. cyrus, verna, hollis doyle and even mellie kinda fucked shit up before with everything and it’s understandable why he felt like everyone had betrayed him. you all of course thought they were keeping the right man in office so i suppose you can even understand why they did what they did.

so he ask for honesty above everything. and when he gets it, when you have the unmitigated gall to tell him the truth and expect him to act accordingly, he becomes asshat fitz, and you know what olivia?

that shit right there? THAT shit? i’m not here for it. fooleywangery at it’s finest.

fitz needs to have a seat, do his damn job and be potus. and for god’s sake shut the FUCK up. run the fucking country like you s’posed to and quite whining.

“Lestat: Oh Louis, Louis. Still whining Louis. Have you heard enough? I’ve had to listen to that for centuries.” -interview with the vampire


but moving on.

everybody around you is licking your anus, putting their freaking necks on the line to make sure you are protected at ALL costs and this is the shit you pull? olivia asks you to throw one damn debate and your silly ass makes everyone wait,

damn sally is waiting to talk to jesus and confess to the world her murderous sins and fuck shit up for EVERYBODY, cyrus is about to have an aneurysm, sniper is ready (courtesy of jake, of course), for the last possible minute. lives are on the line and shit and you are pussyfooting around because you’re not sure your ego can handle it.

meanwhile jake and b613 are on the grind. hustling. running that block….shit now he be’s that damn block, lol. he’s in charge of every fucking thing now, lmao.

and that’s my issue. well. one of many. fitz bitches and cries about the problem, jake nuts up and gets it handled. period.

and that is a man i can fuck with. quite literally and figuratively in fact.

he’s protective.

he’s smart.

he’s hot as fuck.

you just KNOW he’s a freak. *grins*

he makes you laff….even when you don’t feel like there’s anything to laff at.


he went to the hole for you livvy, for god’s sake. is his devotion not apparent? *sighs dreamily*

add that to a little bit of crazy and you have the perfect man.

you can keep it all. fitz, mellie, the election…..yeah. that’s all you, mama.

but in the meantime….the fineness known as captain jake ballard.

send him my way, please and thanks. the fans already hate him…..he’s your second choice at best…..

and he interrupts the star crossed love thing that is fitz and olivia….olitz? folivia? f’via???? whatevs. *shrugs*

what more reason to unload him into my open, waiting arms?

jake…..darling. come home. mama’s waiting.



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