back with the jump off…let’s get blogging bitches! (open for submissions)

Didja miss me?????

*glances around and sighs*

It’s ok if you didn’t. The point is….I missed me. And isn’t that really all that matters???

I feel like I have been gone forever……the last six months have been nuts. Survived five, count them, five moves in six months. Never anything I would recommend lemme tell you. Especially not with 2 dogs and a cat. My kids thankfully went ahead with my parents since I was moving back to my home state……dog almost died……lost my wallet with ALL my shit in it, kids enrolled in school for the first time…can I tell you how much I hate the public school system? Yeesh. Another bitch for another day tho.

All while trying to write this damn third book. I’m so late and delayed with this damn thing I should be carrying 9 months to term by now. I’m ‘bout to charge it child support and shit.

*sighs again and stares at nails silently frowning*

Doesn’t life know to get the hell outta my way so I can focus???? I already have the attention span of Chinese Dwarf hamster as it is.

Anyway. I digress. I need to go before I deliver this very moment. I actually wrote this blog in the first place to announce that our blog was finally up and running again, ready to book dates. Here’s the link for anyone interested:

https://alisaanderson.wordpress.com/guest-submission/

Do me a solid and please read the submission guidelines. Don’t reply to this post as it confuses the fuck outta the help. Um. Myself and my publicist being said help. We are simple folk who have simple, remedial educational needs. Please adhere accordingly.

See that? Just that easily, I get off track. It’s what you people do to me. If you weren’t so demanding of my time, clingy mcclingerton, maybe I could get my ass back to work and stop effin around with you people….you….my devoted five….

*glances briefly at the stats* like I said, you…my devoted four. It’s you who I live for. You….who make all of my snark possible. Without you I am nothing.

*faint sound of crickets chirping*

Random thought: I used effin in an attempt to not use the word fuck twice in my blog post, but then realized by typing the word fuck, I ruined it, in fact ran over that attempt with my car.

Last random thought: I just got an email from WordPress. Asking if I am awesome.

O_o  (This is me right now)

Yes.

Yes I am awesome.

It’s like they just get me.

http://www.houseofalisa.com

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